Your guide to organizing life’s vital information and having life’s difficult, but essential conversations.
Take the time to organize your life and enjoy the peace of mind that comes from advance planning. Whether your estate is large or small, getting your documents together and having difficult conversations will help you now, and your heirs in the future.
The Record is a guide to organizing life’s vital information and having life’s difficult, but essential conversations.
The Record is organized into five sections and includes two business card holder pages and a removable password booklet in a plastic binder pocket for easy access. The sections where you will record your information are:
The Record will walk you through the organizing process, step-by-step, until all the information has been gathered. Whether you work alone, with a spouse, with another family member, or a trusted friend or advisor, have the courage to make your Record and to have your wishes known now and for your future.
The Record is NOT legal, financial, or estate planning advice. The Record is a tool to record the information that your loved ones may need in the event of a crisis, to care for you and manage your household, or to settle your affairs. The Record gives you the opportunity to start the conversations that you may be avoiding. Conversations about a loved one’s wishes as they age. Conversations about choices or plans should something happen to a spouse. Conversations about logistics if a loved one needs assistance managing their household or is no longer able to care for themselves. Share this information with your loved ones while you have the ability to do so.
The Record isn’t just a tool for the elderly. Sometimes adult children need to be the driver of the conversation. As our parents age, we may see the need to help them manage their health or their household. We may be thrust into the position of caretaker without a full understanding of their financial situation or details about their health and everyday life. The Record is an opportunity to encourage our parents to organize and document the information that we may need to assist them as they age.
When we decided to create The Record, we considered including examples of havoc that follows when people don’t put their estate planning documents, finances, and other affairs in order; when they fail to have life’s difficult conversations with family or trusted advisors. We expected some pretty scary tales. What we didn’t anticipate was that everyone had a story. Literally. Everyone. Countless sagas of a family member, or a close friend, who had suffered, often for years, because someone failed to prepare for the inevitable. Wives left entirely in the dark about their finances when a husband passed. Children attempting to put pieces together without proper documents or parents’ instructions to efficiently settle an estate. Family ties unraveled from infighting over money and property. The saddest truth in each of these accounts is that such problems were entirely avoidable! With even minimal attention to documenting your life and creating your personal record, your loved ones will have the detailed guidance they need. You have all this information, and investing a few moments NOW to find it and make those important records accessible will provide a roadmap for your loved ones. We created The Record to help you and your family – to honor what needs to be done and to say what needs to be said, in the most practical and thoughtful of ways.
We grew up on the same street in Escondido, California. We attended the same elementary and middle schools and graduated high school together. We shared many experiences growing up and had a lot in common. So it shouldn’t have surprised us that when we reconnected after many years, we continued to have similar experiences. Both of us had lost a parent during 2020, and both of us had served as the executor/trustee of our parent’s estate. As we talked, we found that our approach during these times had been similar. We’d both had difficult conversations with our parents; had put together notebooks, documents, and passwords; and had organized their records. Our parents became ill rather suddenly, and we were grateful we’d had the chance to do this work before they passed.
Brenda is a certified public accountant and CFO of a portfolio of small businesses in San Diego, California.
After my parents retired, my dad wanted to sit down with me to have a big “what happens if” conversation. At the time, I didn’t want to think about the “what if”, so we put it off. However, as my parents aged, my dad would toss bits of information at me from time to time, like “we have this life insurance policy, let me show you where it is” or “this is where our estate documents are kept”.
When my parents’ health deteriorated and I needed to step in and help, I was grateful that their household records were well-organized. As I started helping with everyday life, I recognized the need for me to have their personal, financial, and medical information in one place. I started with the information I needed at my fingertips whenever I made a phone call to help: their address & phone numbers, birthdates, social security numbers, account numbers. I recorded the important websites and passwords, and made sure I could access their home computer, cell phone and email account. Estate planning documents were updated. When my dad passed away suddenly, I was already in a position to settle his estate and care for my mom, and I had all the information I needed.
My dad was my inspiration for The Record. His foresight and organization made me realize the importance of having these conversations with your parents before something debilitating happens. As I built my parents’ record, I thought about all my cousins who should be doing the same thing with their parents, and the idea for The Record began to take shape in my mind.
Ann is a Real Estate attorney in San Diego, California.
In 2018, I read Twelve Rules for Life, by Jordan Peterson. Rule 10 discusses the importance of dealing with the “dragons” in our lives – the scary issues we all have but don’t want to look at. Most people hide from them. Peterson argued that if we confront dragons early, we reduce the risk of them becoming real monsters later. In response, I scheduled a retreat with my mom to confront her dragons. I prepared a pastel binder with an elaborate pink dragon on the front. My point was that, yes, it was a dragon, but maybe it could be tamed. The binder contained questions about everything – current medications, emergency numbers, recurring bills, and financial accounts.
Over three days we discussed it all. We didn’t just confront dragons, we hunted them. We left that weekend with a good sense of where we were and with a binder that contained lots of helpful information.
In March of 2020, Mom was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer, and she passed July 3. We were deeply saddened – but there were no dragons; nothing we had to scramble to do, hurry to find, or hastily document. There was peace between the children, as we knew for sure what mom wanted – everything we needed to know was in the “Dragon Book.” A few times my brothers asked, “How on earth do you know that?” when we’d have a definitive answer to a complex question. We knew because we’d seen that dragon before.
In October of 2021, Brenda and I got together for lunch. We weren’t five minutes into it, and we’d already started this project. The “Dragon Book” has become “The Record” and we hope it will prove helpful to you and your family.
Don’t wait for a crisis to share important information with your loved ones. Make sure that those closest to you know where to find the documents they will need to care for you and to manage your affairs. Invest a few moments now to find your important records and make them accessible. We created The Record to help you do what needs to be done and to say what needs to be said, in the most practical and thoughtful of ways. Don’t become a victim of your own neglect.
The Record Binder Complete
$68.00
Interior Pages
$34.00
Interior Pages Fillable PDF Download
$34.00
